I Love slam poetry. Andrea Gibson, Ken Arkind, Panama Soweto, Buddy Wakefield. The Denver slam team, I was born with two tongues and all the poets on podslam.org to all the ones performing in places like the bean cycle. I have major respect for them and have fantasized about one day becoming a spoken word artist. Envisioning myself on a stage in front of people rattles my nerves but thrills me at the same time. I haven’t written much poetry since the awful stuff I used to write when my world would cave in over romantic affairs or the woes of, well puberty. I have been writing here in Madagascar though and am actually finding some confidence in my poetry.
So here it goes, putting up my own words for everyone to see, not really caring if you like it or think its good but hoping that you do. Keep in mind that my current poetry was written with intension to be preformed.
Written on my ride back from site visit:
I don’t take medicine
Over the years I have convinced myself that they are a scam
But I am half an hour into an 8, 9, 10 hour taxi-brousse ride
Falling into Dramamine drowsiness
Glad I am not nauseous like the vazaha next to me
We are still in the city of Fianarantsoa
Yet the people are no less intimate in their engagement with the environment
No one wears white in the villages
It is a tainted love affair they have with these rivers
Women trace its outline daily
Secretly to escape away
They know its bumps, its wrinkles
Search for their favorite curves to wash away sweat, red dirt and car exhaust from the past week
Soap
Scrub
Brush
With a parasitic rinse cycle
Let hang dry 3 days
No, the city is wed to its rice-patties
They even span the dips and valleys in the heart of it
Betsileo are the most romantic
They know how mody this land is
Thigh deep in brown skin
Using every tool to give birth to their most sustainable relationship
It’s a rough path to take, this marriage
Worn in with years of practice
Of women bearing the weight
Not only on their backs but atop their heads
Bags of men’s work
Jenga stacked bricks
And buckets, buckets of water
I’m amazed they never drop a tear
They must be steadied from their reality of choosing
Help over knowledge
Work over hunger
Life over choice
They must have to master this balance
As to not slip and fall
To the ground
Dirty palm stretched out like a Baobab tree
Branching fingers to catch as much light and hope as the world can offer
I mistake the smog for dew rising up from the trees in that light
I’d rather see the beauty
I’d rather terrace my heart
Dig
Carve
Create more space to grow and care and bleed
But mostly to understand
Peace Corps by choice
Betsileo by the grace of …
I want to believe their lives can be better
And that we will have something to do with that
But I’m all drugged up
Remember that better is relative
And let these winding roads rock me to sleep
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Officially a Peace Corps Volunteer!! Blog written on Sept. 20th 2010
Four years ago I remember driving with my family and best friend up to Fort Collins to move into a college dorm room. I was excited but terrified at the same time, wondering who I would meet and what I would learn. I remember hearing that college wasn’t for everyone and not knowing if it was for me or not but still going because - hey I was a good student, the college thing sounds kind of cool and maybe it’ll help me find a good job.
A year and a half later I remember being nervous for an interview to be a peer mentor for the Key Service Community that had gotten me through my first year of college. I was applying for my junior year but was asked in my second follow-up interview if I would be willing to jump in early since they had a spot open. I was slightly in disbelief; I had never really considered myself a leader but took the opportunity hoping that I could meet the expectations.
Four months ago I was sitting in my college graduation ceremony. I couldn’t hear what the people on stage were saying because all the speakers were pointed towards my family and friends. Instead I heard echoes of all the support I had accumulated over the four years - from old friends, new friends, lovers, family, mentors, professors, authors of books, co-workers and sometimes even random people on a bus. I couldn’t help but to rock my cheeseburger smile.
Two months ago I remember Freaking Out the day before leaving to Washington D.C because I didn’t think I had packed any of the right clothes. I cried in the security line after saying good-bye to my father – sad to be leaving, wondering how I had gotten there and having no idea what the next two years of my life were going to look like. My anxieties momentarily fell away when I met other Peace Corps trainees who too had not studied Malagasy that much. A week later I was meeting my Malagasy host family, terrified about the next few hours until I could disappear into my room.
Currently, I am sitting at the Peace Corps training center. It’s my favorite time of day when the shadows start becoming longer and longer. My fingers are remembering how to use a key board on a friend’s laptop and another friend is calling my name. I’m wearing clothes from the U.S. that will not be washed in a machine for the next two years. I am constantly shooing bugs to get out of my face and my stomach is still out of wack from two days ago because there is something wrong with the rum in this country! I feel like I hear poetry in the words I am writing because ever since I’ve gotten here I’ve actually had time to write it, maybe it’s because there are fewer distractions here.
Tomorrow we leave to the capital and soon we will be sworn-in as Peace Corps volunteers. Training “technically” has been 10 weeks, but really it has only been 8 since the first one didn’t really have any training and this last one was full of presentations, language assessments, good-byes and preparing to get to site. I’ve given presentations on diarrhea, nutrition, reproductive health, sanitizing water, respiratory infections and breastfeeding – all in Malagasy (Betsileo dialect) and in front of people from the community. I’ve killed a chicken, I’ve lived with a Malagasy family who I have really come to love, broken several Malagasy fomba (tradition/culture norms) and been awarded the “Most likely to eat the most Malagasy street food” superlative by my fellow trainees.
All 42 of us have made it through training and all of us will be heading out to our individual sites to be on our own for two years. I am once again terrified. I am scared of leaving all the new friends I have made. I am scared of being the only foreigner in my community. I can only imagine what it is going to feel like to watch the Peace Corps car drive away and I spend my first minutes in what will be my home for the next two years. Yes I will have a community all around me but somehow I will still experience a type of solitude I have Never experienced before… I am nervous about working in the CSB II/commune hospital. I am nervous about my language. I am nervous about what I am going to eat the first week. I have never felt this kind of horrified before.
I recognize there may be some people who are bit worried about me after reading that – maybe even wondering what the hell I’m doing here
. . .
I received a gift from the Women’s Studies department when I graduated. It is a picture of Audre Lorde with a quote:
“When I dare to be powerful – to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.”
A year and a half later I remember being nervous for an interview to be a peer mentor for the Key Service Community that had gotten me through my first year of college. I was applying for my junior year but was asked in my second follow-up interview if I would be willing to jump in early since they had a spot open. I was slightly in disbelief; I had never really considered myself a leader but took the opportunity hoping that I could meet the expectations.
Four months ago I was sitting in my college graduation ceremony. I couldn’t hear what the people on stage were saying because all the speakers were pointed towards my family and friends. Instead I heard echoes of all the support I had accumulated over the four years - from old friends, new friends, lovers, family, mentors, professors, authors of books, co-workers and sometimes even random people on a bus. I couldn’t help but to rock my cheeseburger smile.
Two months ago I remember Freaking Out the day before leaving to Washington D.C because I didn’t think I had packed any of the right clothes. I cried in the security line after saying good-bye to my father – sad to be leaving, wondering how I had gotten there and having no idea what the next two years of my life were going to look like. My anxieties momentarily fell away when I met other Peace Corps trainees who too had not studied Malagasy that much. A week later I was meeting my Malagasy host family, terrified about the next few hours until I could disappear into my room.
Currently, I am sitting at the Peace Corps training center. It’s my favorite time of day when the shadows start becoming longer and longer. My fingers are remembering how to use a key board on a friend’s laptop and another friend is calling my name. I’m wearing clothes from the U.S. that will not be washed in a machine for the next two years. I am constantly shooing bugs to get out of my face and my stomach is still out of wack from two days ago because there is something wrong with the rum in this country! I feel like I hear poetry in the words I am writing because ever since I’ve gotten here I’ve actually had time to write it, maybe it’s because there are fewer distractions here.
Tomorrow we leave to the capital and soon we will be sworn-in as Peace Corps volunteers. Training “technically” has been 10 weeks, but really it has only been 8 since the first one didn’t really have any training and this last one was full of presentations, language assessments, good-byes and preparing to get to site. I’ve given presentations on diarrhea, nutrition, reproductive health, sanitizing water, respiratory infections and breastfeeding – all in Malagasy (Betsileo dialect) and in front of people from the community. I’ve killed a chicken, I’ve lived with a Malagasy family who I have really come to love, broken several Malagasy fomba (tradition/culture norms) and been awarded the “Most likely to eat the most Malagasy street food” superlative by my fellow trainees.
All 42 of us have made it through training and all of us will be heading out to our individual sites to be on our own for two years. I am once again terrified. I am scared of leaving all the new friends I have made. I am scared of being the only foreigner in my community. I can only imagine what it is going to feel like to watch the Peace Corps car drive away and I spend my first minutes in what will be my home for the next two years. Yes I will have a community all around me but somehow I will still experience a type of solitude I have Never experienced before… I am nervous about working in the CSB II/commune hospital. I am nervous about my language. I am nervous about what I am going to eat the first week. I have never felt this kind of horrified before.
I recognize there may be some people who are bit worried about me after reading that – maybe even wondering what the hell I’m doing here
. . .
I received a gift from the Women’s Studies department when I graduated. It is a picture of Audre Lorde with a quote:
“When I dare to be powerful – to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.”
Friday, August 20, 2010
, Training, break, Training, lunch, Training, break, Training, dinner and free time
This is my daily schedule during the week. There is a lot of training! In the morning the focus is on language. The first few days was “survival Malagasy” to get through our nights with our homestay families. We have started to learn numbers, bargaining at the market, family, professions and expressing needs. The way PC teaches is really efficient and we’ll be able to communicate pretty well by the end of training. I guess the nice thing about Madagascar is that even though there are something like 10 different dialects all the sentence structure stuff is the same, so all Malagasy understand each other which I guess doesn’t happen in other African countries.
In the afternoons we have technical training. For all the Health trainees out main focus will be women’s and children’s health along with reproductive health in youth. We have been learning a lot about vaccines/immunizations and malnutrition which are big issues here in Madagascar. The sessions can get pretty depressing for me anyway because there issues occur often and can end in death but there are very simple solutions, preventative actions, they can take to avoid them but a lot of people just don’t know about them. Our role is to try closing the gap which hopefully will save many lives.
I have already found out where my site is going to be! I will be in the southeastern highlands. My village is Sahambavy which is just southeast of Fianarantsoa (Fianar for short). Here is what I know about it so far:
-Approximate population: 17,000
-Cold March through August…But I hear it is dry which I really hope it is!
-Spoken dialect: Betsileo. I have already started to learn it rather than standart Malagasy but the switch doesn’t seem to like it will be too difficult.
-I’ll have pretty reliable transportation to Fianar, Tana and Manakara. Taxi-Brousse and train.
-Sahambavy is known for it’s tea industry.
-People come to Sahambavy from Fianar to have picnics. I hear it is really pretty and I am lucky to be placed there!
-My house is one big room, built out of brick and concrete I think. I’ll have a kitchen, latrine, fence, a well (hopefully close) but no electricity which is totally fine.
Next week on Friday we leave to go to our individual site visits! I am actually not sure what that week will look like but I am pretty juiced about it!
In the afternoons we have technical training. For all the Health trainees out main focus will be women’s and children’s health along with reproductive health in youth. We have been learning a lot about vaccines/immunizations and malnutrition which are big issues here in Madagascar. The sessions can get pretty depressing for me anyway because there issues occur often and can end in death but there are very simple solutions, preventative actions, they can take to avoid them but a lot of people just don’t know about them. Our role is to try closing the gap which hopefully will save many lives.
I have already found out where my site is going to be! I will be in the southeastern highlands. My village is Sahambavy which is just southeast of Fianarantsoa (Fianar for short). Here is what I know about it so far:
-Approximate population: 17,000
-Cold March through August…But I hear it is dry which I really hope it is!
-Spoken dialect: Betsileo. I have already started to learn it rather than standart Malagasy but the switch doesn’t seem to like it will be too difficult.
-I’ll have pretty reliable transportation to Fianar, Tana and Manakara. Taxi-Brousse and train.
-Sahambavy is known for it’s tea industry.
-People come to Sahambavy from Fianar to have picnics. I hear it is really pretty and I am lucky to be placed there!
-My house is one big room, built out of brick and concrete I think. I’ll have a kitchen, latrine, fence, a well (hopefully close) but no electricity which is totally fine.
Next week on Friday we leave to go to our individual site visits! I am actually not sure what that week will look like but I am pretty juiced about it!
: Po Corps: I’d give you 10.000 Ariary if you could top this fady..!
Day/Date: Sunday July 25, 2010 (about 4 days into my homestay)
Time: Sometime before dinner, between 6 and 7:30pm
Location: Homestay house/my bedroom
Description: I commit a major Malagasy
So at my homestay we do not have a toilet, we have a kabone. This is a brick structure built around/over a huge hoe dug in the ground. There is a floor built over that too with a much smaller hole, where you do your business…there are pieces of wood or bricks that you use while you squat (balance, aim and thigh strength required) This is behind the house a bit and is only for daytime use.
What do people do at night? --You may ask…
Well since it gets really dark and can get slippery they don’t use the kabone at night but a po instead. A po can be used to spit in after brushing your teeth, it can be used to wash your hands off a bit, it can be used to shave (if you are skilled enough not to spill outside of it) but it’s main use is for #1 and #2! The po is a bucket with a lid. You use it, empty/rinse it out in the morning, let it “air out” during the day and put it in the corner of your room at night.
It is a very personal item…
One night, the night of the 25th, I am studying Malagasy with my host family in the common room. It is starting to get dark and I have to tinkle so I go use the po in my room, and come back to continue studying…
“Knock, knock”
Oh what a surprise! It is our upstairs neighbors…they usually do not come over around that time. They begin to speak Malagasy with my mom and I hear a familiar word…”po”..! Turns out…I brought the wrong po into my room!!
I was mortified!!! They all thought it was hilarious and of course I laughed along with them! Their po was next to my family’s po outside, and it is blue just like mine but in a different shade..! My po was in my Ladosy (shower)… They kept telling my that their po is manga (blue) and that mine is mangamanga (bluish). While I kept trying to ask if I could wash it out before giving it to them, without actually saying I had already used it!!! But that didn’t happen…so they took their po…with my pee in it…
Me = Dumb American. I am so thankful the joke only lasted for 2 days but who knows how many people in out village heard about it!
Time: Sometime before dinner, between 6 and 7:30pm
Location: Homestay house/my bedroom
Description: I commit a major Malagasy
So at my homestay we do not have a toilet, we have a kabone. This is a brick structure built around/over a huge hoe dug in the ground. There is a floor built over that too with a much smaller hole, where you do your business…there are pieces of wood or bricks that you use while you squat (balance, aim and thigh strength required) This is behind the house a bit and is only for daytime use.
What do people do at night? --You may ask…
Well since it gets really dark and can get slippery they don’t use the kabone at night but a po instead. A po can be used to spit in after brushing your teeth, it can be used to wash your hands off a bit, it can be used to shave (if you are skilled enough not to spill outside of it) but it’s main use is for #1 and #2! The po is a bucket with a lid. You use it, empty/rinse it out in the morning, let it “air out” during the day and put it in the corner of your room at night.
It is a very personal item…
One night, the night of the 25th, I am studying Malagasy with my host family in the common room. It is starting to get dark and I have to tinkle so I go use the po in my room, and come back to continue studying…
“Knock, knock”
Oh what a surprise! It is our upstairs neighbors…they usually do not come over around that time. They begin to speak Malagasy with my mom and I hear a familiar word…”po”..! Turns out…I brought the wrong po into my room!!
I was mortified!!! They all thought it was hilarious and of course I laughed along with them! Their po was next to my family’s po outside, and it is blue just like mine but in a different shade..! My po was in my Ladosy (shower)… They kept telling my that their po is manga (blue) and that mine is mangamanga (bluish). While I kept trying to ask if I could wash it out before giving it to them, without actually saying I had already used it!!! But that didn’t happen…so they took their po…with my pee in it…
Me = Dumb American. I am so thankful the joke only lasted for 2 days but who knows how many people in out village heard about it!
Oh diggity I’m in Madagascar! Here’s how it’s going…
As of August 3, 2010:
So I have been in Madagascar for about two weeks now! I met the other 41 trainees in Washington D.C. and had a short orientation. We sat on a plane for about 20hours, stopping in Dakar to refuel and landing in Johannesburg, South Africa for the night. The another 3 hour flight the next morning to Antananariva (Tana for short), Madagascar and stayed a night there. All our training is in a village called Mantasoa. This was a 2ish hour, bumpy as hell, 14 person packed van ride. As soon as we got to Mantasoa (just southeast of Tana) we met our host families and had out first night with them! Tad bit intimidating but we all survived just fine.
My host family:
I live with a woman in her 50’s who I call Neny, which means mom. She farms rice and raises chickens. Her daughter also lives with there. Her name is Nomena, she is 18 and has the same birthday as me! They are both super nice! They teach me their lifestyle here and are eager to help me learn Malagasy. This is their first time hosting a Peace Corps Trainee (PCT) and I’m hoping they are having a good experience… I am for sure!
I taught them how to play Go Fish last night. It went over pretty well! Explaining the rules was a bit rocky but we got it and had fun. I tried to explain “beginner’s luck” when Nomena won but my language skills are not quite at that level yet haha I may have to start introducing more games though because we played like 25 rounds tonight…Go Fish is only entertaining for so long!
How about a bit about my lifestyle out here??
Contents of my room:
A desk, a chair, a bed, a mosquito net, a water filter ( I have to treat all the water I drink with a chlorine solution), a trunk for safe keeping, a trash basket, a broom, a bucket for fetching water/showering, a po (see Po Corps blog for a hilarious story) and all the stuff I brought with me from home. It is simple but I have a good amount of space and I have a door directly to the outside. This is nice because I have more “me” space than it seems some other trainees do with doors connected to other rooms in the house.
My daily/weekly activities:
-I eat all three meals with my host family and let them know where I am going/what I am doing. It is interesting being in the family setting again, with people you do not know very well.
-I walk about 300 meters to get water for a shower. The path is sometimes slippery and muddy and I have to carry a bucket full of water back that distance.
-I make my bed every morning and usually sweep my floor too. I use the “brosy” (not sure of the spelling, but it is half a coconut shell) to break up the dirt on the floor first and then sweep it out the door.
-I wash my clothes in a river, and hang them out to dry. It’s pretty cloudy and sometimes rainy/drizzly here right now so it can take 3 days for clothes to dry sometimes. I have to be strategic in what I was since I do not have many clothes.
-Electricity is expensive so we use candles at night.
There is definitely more but I will share that throughout the coming weeks when I get the chance
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