Yes! I leave Sunday...yeah this Sunday...so there's tomorrow, the day after that and then the next day I leave...!!!!
huh yeah I'm kind of really freaking out. Thank goodness for all of my friends who are calming me down. My old supervisor Jess in particular reminded me of how at this point it is pretty normal to be freaking out - I relaxed for about oh...2.5 seconds and then proceeded to freak out but in a healthy way : ) I feel like I have done a pretty good job of keeping my composure thus far but I am starting to stress pretty good, I'm pretty sensitive today haha my mom keeps asking me to do stuff to get ready for my going away party tomorrow and I got upset because I'm freaking out of course and had to leave so I could cry it out a bit to refocus. And now I am back to being happily freaking out : )
It's so surreal right now...I have a lot to do to get ready but I don't at the same time. I am stressing about stuff but in days that will all just melt away because I am going to be in Africa! I still cannot believe that it is actually happening. I remember when I went up the Peace Corps table to ask the people what is was all about and found out that it actually didn't have anything to do with the military HA! Then talking to the recruiter at CSU who was super nice and told me all about her experience...finding out Jen Johnson (CSU Alt Break Coordinator) had gone which made it that much cooler...making the decision and submitting my application...going to my interview dressed business casual and they were in crocs...getting my medical packet...getting my phone call and invitation to serve and now...now it is 2 days before I get on an airplane and go do what I have been planning and talking about doing for the past year! How does someone even handle that?!
Happy tears accompanied with a happy dance I think will suffice!
I'm going to miss hot showers. Being the wise person that I am I have been gorging on sugar and fat infused foods over the past few month that I am pretty sick of them now and will not be missing them very much..or at least for the next two weeks. Same goes for my family haha ok just my mom hahaha but I love her and all of them so much and I will miss them. I will miss all my friends too, I love them all So much. My dogs, Colorado sunrises, the mountains..I know this will all be here when I get back though. And I know that I will make more friends, they will become family too and I'll find beauty in the sunsets of Madagascar.
I am so unbelievably happy with my life
I'll take the partially shady past, the broken hearts, the fly-shit that annoys me and yes I will give up computers, internet, cell phones, electricity, running water and luxury...I've done this and more and I will continue to knowing that I am doing exactly what is making me happy. That I am going to see the world, see it in ways I cannot predict. I am going to be part of something that is so much bigger than me and so important. Never again will I be the same person as I've been before Sunday. This is going to be...I don't even know how I could put a word to it...it's going to be the Peace Corps!!
(Pause for dramatic effect)
Needless to say, it is getting kind of heavy. I switch from excited to anxious every five minutes and somehow both at the same time. I am picking and choosing what to take with me for the next two years, donating a quarter of all my stuff and packing the rest away into storage. I'm taking books on meditation, it is the closest to religion/spirituality I have gotten and hope it will help me when I need to breathe. I am leaving my most prized possessions to stay safe at home. I keep playing with a lip ring that isn't there and I am getting used to the cheapo earrings that feel nothing like the ones I have worn since I had my ears pierced.
I feel like I am focusing a lot on what I am letting go...which I think is fine and normal but I am going to have to switch it soon and I'm thinking that will happen without me even noticing.
I keep reminding myself:
I applied only after I knew I was committed for the two years
The Peace Corps invited me to serve
I am strong and I can do this
Emotional roller coaster is normal during a transition period
Everyone will be fine while I am gone
"Remember happiness is a way of travel, not a destination."
"The only constant is change."
**Found out that Madagascar has one of the highest rates of volunteers extending their service
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
A month to go..! Yeah, that's one..one, no longer plural
So I guess technically it is a little less than a month away because I just booked my flight today for my staging (aka orientation) event and I leave July 18th! Oh my gosh! It is in Washington DC! Funnily enough I was actually just out on the East Coast to visit my friend Chris so I have already been to DC, and I was out there once before that to see my friend Jesse too But I am going out there for totally different reasons this time and it is going to be crazy exciting/scary/intense!
What if I got to meet Obama?? That would be so awesome! I'd have to play it chill like "Oh hey Barack, how you doing today?" and "Michelle, ha that's my middle name!" or "How are the girls liking the dog?" Don't worry I'm just kidding, I would totally be respectful...I would actually be completely speechless haha either way the situation is very unlikely but I would have amazing bragging rights if it did ; )
Anyway! The day after I arrive I will be going through an orientation with other volunteers to...well..orient us to life as a trainee. Probably going to be a fair amount of paper work, talking aobut expectations and (dun, dun, dun) shots. Boo. I'm super stoked though! It'll be really exciting to meet other people in the same boat although I am not sure if all of the people at this orientation will be going to Madagascar but I'm sure there will be some at least. Then the day after that I ship out to Madagascar!!! Baaaaaahhhh! What?? It's starting to sink in a tinsy bit what I have gotten myself into, while I am absolutely sure that I still will have absolutely no idea what it will really be like until I wake up my first day there! What a trip! Did I mention the flight is 17 hours and 25 minutes? I have a window seat at least... One stop over in Johannesburg, South Africa and then a 3 hour and 10 minute flight over to Antananarivo, Madagascar. So quite litterally a month from today I will be IN Madagascar, I will be IN my host country of service = (excited) damn!!!
I am reading yet another one of the booklets that Peace Corps provided in my invitation packet that talks about adjusting to staging, training and service. I will say that they provide very realistic expectations which is a bit nerve wracking but I am also sure it will be better than having it all sugar-coated and bail out when you hit some road bumps.
I am trying to practice meditation on my own. I have been figuring that almost Everything that I am accustomed to is going to be gone and I will even have to relearn how to do stuff like how to go to the bathroom (this is what the book is telling me anyway) The ways I normally deal with stress may even be hard to do but I'm thinking meditation can pretty much be done anywhere and it has always been great when I have done it in the past. Plus, not having a spiritual base is really starting to get to me and what has realy fit me the most so far has been yoga and meditation.
A few other things that are going on right now:
I have stopped wearing my contacts/I threw out my last pair. Since running/clean water may not be available and supplies for contacts might be limited they suggest glasses anyway so I ordered a pair of those transition glasses today.
I am procrastinating taking my lip ring out... I've had it for four year... I really like it but they are taboo in Madagascar and not easily hidden thus I must take it out... but I'm getting over being sick right now and I want my body to focus on that rather than closing up the hole in my lip... and Yes... I'm trying to rationalize! On a good note though I am finally going to get my back tattoo finished next Tuesday Yay!!!
Manahoana! Fahasalamana? This means Hello! How are you? in Malagasy. I have been going through the introductory language lessons that the Peace Corps has provided. This language stuff is going to be intense! Good thing I have had language (spanish) classes in the past, I hear it's easier to learn more languages once you have learned one other than your native tongue. I borrowed some French books too, which by the way, French and Malagasy sound nothing alike from what I can tell so it'll be interesting if I have to learn both.
I have decided that instead of being super responsible I am going to keep my options open for an opportunity I may not have again. There is this readjustment stipend that each volunteer gets after their service but they allow you to take money out of that stipend if you need to make monthly payments in at home if you need it. I was going to do this with my student loans, consolidate them and make payments so that can start getting tackled while I am away. But a returned Peace Corps volunteer said he took his stipend and travelled around the world for 6 months after his service. I asked my dad if I should be responsible or not and he said not consolidating my loans wouldn't be irresponsible so I have decided just to deffer them : ) Thanks Dad! Love you!
I have a couple last hurrahs to do in Fort Collins.
My lovely sister is getting married this Saturday (I'm the Maid of Honor).
I get to see my best friend Shannon one more time before I go.
I have a family reunion to go to the day after the wedding.
Need the H1N1 vaccination
Get all my stuff into storage (what a silly concept by the way)
And I need to start figuring out what to pack!
What if I got to meet Obama?? That would be so awesome! I'd have to play it chill like "Oh hey Barack, how you doing today?" and "Michelle, ha that's my middle name!" or "How are the girls liking the dog?" Don't worry I'm just kidding, I would totally be respectful...I would actually be completely speechless haha either way the situation is very unlikely but I would have amazing bragging rights if it did ; )
Anyway! The day after I arrive I will be going through an orientation with other volunteers to...well..orient us to life as a trainee. Probably going to be a fair amount of paper work, talking aobut expectations and (dun, dun, dun) shots. Boo. I'm super stoked though! It'll be really exciting to meet other people in the same boat although I am not sure if all of the people at this orientation will be going to Madagascar but I'm sure there will be some at least. Then the day after that I ship out to Madagascar!!! Baaaaaahhhh! What?? It's starting to sink in a tinsy bit what I have gotten myself into, while I am absolutely sure that I still will have absolutely no idea what it will really be like until I wake up my first day there! What a trip! Did I mention the flight is 17 hours and 25 minutes? I have a window seat at least... One stop over in Johannesburg, South Africa and then a 3 hour and 10 minute flight over to Antananarivo, Madagascar. So quite litterally a month from today I will be IN Madagascar, I will be IN my host country of service = (excited) damn!!!
I am reading yet another one of the booklets that Peace Corps provided in my invitation packet that talks about adjusting to staging, training and service. I will say that they provide very realistic expectations which is a bit nerve wracking but I am also sure it will be better than having it all sugar-coated and bail out when you hit some road bumps.
I am trying to practice meditation on my own. I have been figuring that almost Everything that I am accustomed to is going to be gone and I will even have to relearn how to do stuff like how to go to the bathroom (this is what the book is telling me anyway) The ways I normally deal with stress may even be hard to do but I'm thinking meditation can pretty much be done anywhere and it has always been great when I have done it in the past. Plus, not having a spiritual base is really starting to get to me and what has realy fit me the most so far has been yoga and meditation.
A few other things that are going on right now:
I have stopped wearing my contacts/I threw out my last pair. Since running/clean water may not be available and supplies for contacts might be limited they suggest glasses anyway so I ordered a pair of those transition glasses today.
I am procrastinating taking my lip ring out... I've had it for four year... I really like it but they are taboo in Madagascar and not easily hidden thus I must take it out... but I'm getting over being sick right now and I want my body to focus on that rather than closing up the hole in my lip... and Yes... I'm trying to rationalize! On a good note though I am finally going to get my back tattoo finished next Tuesday Yay!!!
Manahoana! Fahasalamana? This means Hello! How are you? in Malagasy. I have been going through the introductory language lessons that the Peace Corps has provided. This language stuff is going to be intense! Good thing I have had language (spanish) classes in the past, I hear it's easier to learn more languages once you have learned one other than your native tongue. I borrowed some French books too, which by the way, French and Malagasy sound nothing alike from what I can tell so it'll be interesting if I have to learn both.
I have decided that instead of being super responsible I am going to keep my options open for an opportunity I may not have again. There is this readjustment stipend that each volunteer gets after their service but they allow you to take money out of that stipend if you need to make monthly payments in at home if you need it. I was going to do this with my student loans, consolidate them and make payments so that can start getting tackled while I am away. But a returned Peace Corps volunteer said he took his stipend and travelled around the world for 6 months after his service. I asked my dad if I should be responsible or not and he said not consolidating my loans wouldn't be irresponsible so I have decided just to deffer them : ) Thanks Dad! Love you!
I have a couple last hurrahs to do in Fort Collins.
My lovely sister is getting married this Saturday (I'm the Maid of Honor).
I get to see my best friend Shannon one more time before I go.
I have a family reunion to go to the day after the wedding.
Need the H1N1 vaccination
Get all my stuff into storage (what a silly concept by the way)
And I need to start figuring out what to pack!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
My Invitation to serve is for......drumroll please.........!
I received my Invitation Kit about 4 or 5 days after my call from the Peace Corps and it has a Bunch of information in it. The first of which is my assignment:
Country:
Program: Community Health Project
Orientation date: July 19, 2010
I had to read a little booklet about my assignment which included information about the history of the program in
After I accepted my invitation the next step was to send my host country staff an updated/restructured/expanded resume and an aspiration statement to kind of introduce myself. Another step that had to be done as soon as possible was applying for a passport and a visa. The only thing was I still had this whole graduation thing to do! Haha My best friend Shannon flew in the evening that I accepted my invitation and we were pretty busy up until she left a few days later. We hung out with a few friends in Denver that Thursday night she came in, went to one of my other best friend's/roommate's (Lauren) graduation stuff the next day, Lauren and I had a graduation party on Saturday, my graduation ceremony was that evening and my sister, shannon and I went out in old town Fort Collins that night, had my own graduation party at my parent's house on that Sunday, helped my supervisor and drove a student up to the CSU foothills campus on Monday, some wedding dress stuff with Shannon that evening and then Shannon left Tuesday afternoon....whew...busy, busy! So needless to say, I had little time to do Peace Corps stuff.
I just sent in my resume and aspiration statement the last couple days and there is still a lot I have to do before I leave.
1. Move out of my place in Fort Collins and transition into my parent's house. I have lived in the place in Fort Collins ever since moving out of the dorms and I have been there with Lauren the whole time...I have been slowly taking stuff down, packing things and bringing it to my parent;s place and it's been pretty sad...I Love CSU, I Love Fort Collins, I Love my roommates and I Love who I have become in my time there...it will always hold a very special place in my heart and I don't really want to leave but life must go on and my next chapter will be exciting as well.
Now I will be staying with my parents...I love them, I love them very much but it is hard to go back to living with them after 4 years of being away...My mom and I have always driven each other crazy but that's ok, it's only 2 months before I leave. My dad does projects around the house all the time and now that I don't have a lot to do...I am automatically volunteered to help, which is fine, it's only 2 months until I leave. I am also working for my dad and his insulation business for the next couple months, which is dirty work but again, only up until I leave. Ok, ok, it's really not all that terrible. I would rather spend this time with my family and friends than be anywhere else!
2. Get everything (life) in order and tying up loose ends before being gone for two years! This means: packing up all the stuff I want to keep and selling off all the stuff I don't need, paying off debts, figuring out student loan stuff, finishing my tattoo, finishing volunteer hours for an AmeriCorps award and writing appreciation letters. I'm sure there is more but it's just so much I'll just have to make a real list for myself sometime to it all gets done!
3. Prepare for my service. There is the logistical stuff that I will have to do like filling out a bunch of forms and setting up my flight. There will also be a lot of mental preparation. I'm going to be doing a lot of reading and researching (Peace Corps has already provided me with a lot of information and resources) about Africa,
Saturday, May 8, 2010
How did I get here? It's been a journey in itself
Where to start..? From the beginning I suppose!
I am not the type to really plan ahead. I feel like that is going to change anyway and it is almost limiting what I will do. Having said that, I am really lucky that I am in college because I procrastinated for a long time to apply. I only applied to one college, CSU, and luckily I was accepted. I am a first generation student so I had no real knowledge about how to navigate through it. I was part of a service-learning community my freshman year called Key Service. Being in this program laid the base for my success in college. I had a wonderful mentor, Tania Valdez, and I was introduced to community service.
I remember hearing about the Peace Corps and thinking that it had something to do with the military HA! There was a career fair or involvement fair on campus or something and I decided just to take a look around. Peace Corps was there and I asked some questions and I was pretty into service by this time and it sounded really interesting. Over the past four years I have been slowly thinking about the Peace Corps as an option after college. I went to information sessions, asked questions about how to get more information from my mentors, met with returners and on campus recruiter and all the while developing skills that would eventually boost my confidence in the fact that this was a real possibility.
I began to seriously consider going around my third year because I knew that I would have to apply a year in advance. A lot of factors played in to deciding whether I would apply or not: Was I ok with being gone for 2 years? Was I ok with being in a foreign country most likely vastly different from the U.S.? How would this affect the relationship I had at the time? What else would I want to do if I didn't do the PC? and many many other factors and questions too. I was told (and I tell people who are considering applying) that applying couldn't hurt and it may help you decide whether you want to go all the way with it. For me; I made the decision that I would have to be ready and committed for the whole sha-bang before applying. The same came after my third year and I applied.
I went to an interview and got nominated for a health program in Africa. I proceeded to fulfill the medical packet requirements... A physical exam (to any of you in this stage, the VA hospital in Denver does this for free for PCV). A dental exam/work (which I'm still paying off even after the reimbursement). An eye exam. Copies of medical records... Goodness it was a hassle, that I put off for way too long...and then played a waiting game until I was medically cleared! More waiting ensued until I got an email saying that my application was in the placement offices. Some more waiting...and then the placement office contacted my saying that all that was left was an updated resume (so they could know what I have been up to in the past year) and my final transcript. I sent in my updated resume on May 6th and literally an hour later I got a call - that I missed because I was in class.
I checked my message and went into the SLiCE office (were I work on campus) and returned the call. I spoke with Daniel and he asked me a few questions about if I was comfortable with doing a health program for my service, how I was feeling about the Peace Corps, how my family was feeling about the whole thing and addressing any of my concerns (communication home, returning for a wedding, tattoo stuff). Then he said he would like to extend me an invitation to serve with the Peace Corps.
My Reaction:
(**Shazam** !!WooHoo!! ~~Righteous~~ !Yippy! *So Awesome* HAPPY DANCE) ---------->
My Response:
"Oh that's great!"
I was pretty on top of the world at that point haha I actually had an event going on that day (REAL Award Reception) that I still needed to get together so I was not able to fully absorb it in. I actually have yet to fully acknowledge that I will be in the Peace Corps within the next few months. So where I am at now is I am anticipating to receive my invitation in the mail within the week. I think there will be more specifics once it gets here but my placement is somewhere in Africa in a health extension position and I would be leaving sometime in July. Yeah...that's July of 2010...the one that is just the rest of May and the month of June away...yeah that July..! That is about 2 months earlier than I was expecting but it's All Good!
I am currently trying to push through finals week with some integrity but my motivation has been on a steady decline since spring break pretty much. This Saturday is my graduation ceremony, Sa-weet! So needless to say there is a lot going on. My feelings are all over the place! I have been very reminiscent, stressed, excited and anxious. I am really going to miss CSU... I have met some really amazing people in my time here (Lauren Dixon, Chris Nicolas, Lori Peek, Chris Linder, Jess Burge, Bobby Kunstman, Jen Johnson - just to name a few, the list is much longer than this) and it is sad that I am leaving and everyone is going off to different places to live their lives. I am ready to get to my own adventure though!
I have no idea where life is taking me but I am So ready!
I am not the type to really plan ahead. I feel like that is going to change anyway and it is almost limiting what I will do. Having said that, I am really lucky that I am in college because I procrastinated for a long time to apply. I only applied to one college, CSU, and luckily I was accepted. I am a first generation student so I had no real knowledge about how to navigate through it. I was part of a service-learning community my freshman year called Key Service. Being in this program laid the base for my success in college. I had a wonderful mentor, Tania Valdez, and I was introduced to community service.
I remember hearing about the Peace Corps and thinking that it had something to do with the military HA! There was a career fair or involvement fair on campus or something and I decided just to take a look around. Peace Corps was there and I asked some questions and I was pretty into service by this time and it sounded really interesting. Over the past four years I have been slowly thinking about the Peace Corps as an option after college. I went to information sessions, asked questions about how to get more information from my mentors, met with returners and on campus recruiter and all the while developing skills that would eventually boost my confidence in the fact that this was a real possibility.
I began to seriously consider going around my third year because I knew that I would have to apply a year in advance. A lot of factors played in to deciding whether I would apply or not: Was I ok with being gone for 2 years? Was I ok with being in a foreign country most likely vastly different from the U.S.? How would this affect the relationship I had at the time? What else would I want to do if I didn't do the PC? and many many other factors and questions too. I was told (and I tell people who are considering applying) that applying couldn't hurt and it may help you decide whether you want to go all the way with it. For me; I made the decision that I would have to be ready and committed for the whole sha-bang before applying. The same came after my third year and I applied.
I went to an interview and got nominated for a health program in Africa. I proceeded to fulfill the medical packet requirements... A physical exam (to any of you in this stage, the VA hospital in Denver does this for free for PCV). A dental exam/work (which I'm still paying off even after the reimbursement). An eye exam. Copies of medical records... Goodness it was a hassle, that I put off for way too long...and then played a waiting game until I was medically cleared! More waiting ensued until I got an email saying that my application was in the placement offices. Some more waiting...and then the placement office contacted my saying that all that was left was an updated resume (so they could know what I have been up to in the past year) and my final transcript. I sent in my updated resume on May 6th and literally an hour later I got a call - that I missed because I was in class.
I checked my message and went into the SLiCE office (were I work on campus) and returned the call. I spoke with Daniel and he asked me a few questions about if I was comfortable with doing a health program for my service, how I was feeling about the Peace Corps, how my family was feeling about the whole thing and addressing any of my concerns (communication home, returning for a wedding, tattoo stuff). Then he said he would like to extend me an invitation to serve with the Peace Corps.
My Reaction:
(**Shazam** !!WooHoo!! ~~Righteous~~ !Yippy! *So Awesome* HAPPY DANCE) ---------->
My Response:
"Oh that's great!"
I was pretty on top of the world at that point haha I actually had an event going on that day (REAL Award Reception) that I still needed to get together so I was not able to fully absorb it in. I actually have yet to fully acknowledge that I will be in the Peace Corps within the next few months. So where I am at now is I am anticipating to receive my invitation in the mail within the week. I think there will be more specifics once it gets here but my placement is somewhere in Africa in a health extension position and I would be leaving sometime in July. Yeah...that's July of 2010...the one that is just the rest of May and the month of June away...yeah that July..! That is about 2 months earlier than I was expecting but it's All Good!
I am currently trying to push through finals week with some integrity but my motivation has been on a steady decline since spring break pretty much. This Saturday is my graduation ceremony, Sa-weet! So needless to say there is a lot going on. My feelings are all over the place! I have been very reminiscent, stressed, excited and anxious. I am really going to miss CSU... I have met some really amazing people in my time here (Lauren Dixon, Chris Nicolas, Lori Peek, Chris Linder, Jess Burge, Bobby Kunstman, Jen Johnson - just to name a few, the list is much longer than this) and it is sad that I am leaving and everyone is going off to different places to live their lives. I am ready to get to my own adventure though!
I have no idea where life is taking me but I am So ready!
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