One of those cheesy magazine surveys - Turning anger into humor

So the other day a guy came around and I'm pretty sure he was saying that he was looking for a wife... I started out really pissed off and wrote some angry poetry (that I will post later) but I wrote this afterwards in order to take a comic relief angle instead or staying frustrated.

How good are my chances to marry Tisa??

Question 1: Do you smoke?
A. Yes
B. Sometimes
C. No

Question 2: Who drives?
A. You, I umm...lost my license
B. You, my Mustang is in the shop
C. You, I only commute by bike

Question 3: Describe your physical activity
A. I pump iron 3 times a week - here feel my pecs!
B. I take the stairs instead of the elevator
C. The workers at REI know me by name

Question 4: How often would you compliment my looks?
A. Everyday, I think you're pretty
B. When you dress up and wear make-up
C. Not often, I have more important things to say to you

Question 5: Tattoos?
A. None, I think they are tacky
B. I've got a tribal around my bicep
C. I know a guy who can fix whoever chooses B

Question 6: Talk to me about Social Justice
A. What does Social Justice mean?
B. I let other people worry about that stuff
C. That's a little too general...are we talking SES, feminism, gender, race??

Question 7: How would you propose to me?
A. Hey, I'm looking for a wife. It could be you!
B. Lit up on the scoreboard at a baseball game
C. During a slam at a coffee shop

Question 8: How long do you want to wait before actually getting married?
A. Why wait? Let's get hitched now!
B. Year long engagement - enough time to plan the wedding and find a home
C. Marriage?! I thought we were just getting to know each other..!

Question 9: How many kids do you want?
A. 7 boys, 7 girls
B. 2.5 - it's the ideal size
C. None - but adoption if we change our minds

Question 10: How many pets do you want?
A. None, I hate animals
B. A dog, but it has to sleep outside
C. A great dane, at least 2 cats and...a pig!


If you chose:

All A's: No way, you don't have a chance
There is no way in hell that I would ever marry you. Not only do you seem like a total tool but your frame of thought is Completely different from mine. You can leave now. Bye.

All B's: Hate to break it to you but it's best to give up now
You seem like a nice person but I don't think it would work between us. We don't want the same things and that would only hurt us in the long run. If you'd stop hitting on me now I'm sure we could still be friends

All C's: You've got the potential but alas...
You have some pretty ideal qualities - you must have lied about something... But if you do happen to exist I hope we run into each other someday, maybe we could grab some coffee.